Hello to all you runners, ex-runners, and bored parents. Before we get started, I would like to point out that I’ve added links to all my footnotes. Am I awesome?
Anyway, this past Saturday, our club hosted our yearly Club Relays meet. It’s just like every other meet ever, except either the athletes have to drag this metal hollow tube thing around the track, or their times/distances get added together (also there are a lot more heats of the mile than the 60. We even had more heats of the 3K than of the 60! What kind of meet does that?). Full results can be found under the Club Relays tab. Both the boys and girls teams came in first, though the competition was fierce, and there were some truly awesome races. A special shoutout goes to J.P. Lllinas for an epic last 100 meters in the 800 leg of the Sprint Medley Relay. At 100 meters to go, J.P. made up a significant lead, and managed to just edge out the Michigan State runner for the win, winning the SMR by a hundredth of a second. Cue the cheesy 80′s rock!
It was a great meet to watch, and I even participated! I had to run the 60m hurdles. Do you have any idea how high the high hurdles are? They’re pretty high. Like, really high. Like, high enough that I’m pretty sure Ben made me run them as revenge for that whole “All mistakes in these updates are Ben’s fault” thing from a few weeks back. Clearly, our Esteemed Head Coach just can’t take a joke.
Anyway, meet club and personal records! Oh man are there a lot. You remember all those PR’s we had at our first GVSU meet? Well, we have more than that. We have like three GVSU’s worth of PR’s here. We also haven’t broken this many club records since the team’s very first meet.
So, go to the bathroom, get something to eat, turn off your e-mail, and say good-bye to your loved ones. We’re going to be here a while.
First, the girls.
Erin Murphy set the club record in the 60m dash with a time of 8.37 seconds…
Only to have it broken in the very next heat by Hayley Dorfman with a time of 8.23 (it was also, coincidentally, Hayley’s very first race with ITC. Way to make an entrance, Hayley). While getting your thunder stolen by the new girl must have stung something fierce, on the bright side Erin is now the record holder for being the shortest record holder in the history of the club, beating out the record Jonen set at the beginning of the season.
Emma Grimes set the mile record with a time of 5:08.22. I’m
pretty sure absolutely positive that she can run a faster mile than I could in my prime. Thanks for threatening my masculine pride Emma!
Our girl’s 4x200m A team: Sarah Sheehan, Erin Murphy, Ima Eno, and Lauren Jonen set the club record with a time of 1:49.65, despite some rather questionable hand-offs (blind hand-offs are probably a bad idea when we only practice hand-offs for the two weeks before Club Relays).
The girl’s 4x800m A team: Shannon Sledz, Thea Cudnowski, Emma Grimes and Megan McGreal set the club record in the 4x800m with a time of 9:45.5.
Completing the Indoor Relay Trifecta, the girl’s 4x400m relay: Lauren Jonen, Ima Eno, Emma Grimes, and Erin Murphy set a new club record with a time of 4:09.02.
Oh, and because they felt bad about the Sprint Medley Relay (SMR) being the only baton-passing relay whose record hadn’t been broken yet, the girl’s SMR A team: Erin Murphy, Sarah Sheehan, Shannon Sledz, and Lauren Jonen set the record for the SMR with a time of 4:22.55.
Erin Murphy set a club record in the Triple Jump with a distance of 10.12m
Tare Emuze set the club record in the shot put with a distance of 8.61m
Now, for the boys!
The men’s 4x400m A team: Ben Kanevsky, Scott Luedkte, Ryan Brewster, and Jack Skelton set a new club record with a time of 3:28.73. They were also dressed in hot pink spandex and pink and purple shirts with pictures of unicorns and puppies, because there is (unfortunately) no law in the US against wearing outfits that make everyone around you want to burn out their own eyes with the holy, cleansing flames of a tire fire.
Anyway, back in the land of the sane, the men’s 4x800m relay: J.P. Llinas, Evan White, Zach Boehmke, and Steven Decker set a new record with a time of 8:08.47.
Thus ends the records (come on guys! Two records to the girls’ eight? Clearly our only recourse before NIRCA is to “accidentally” leave all the girls at home. Either that or chase them off the team. Maybe if we throw enough <insert feminine stereotype here> at them, they’ll go away).
Now, for the PR’s. We will start with the girls (does “ladies first” count as one of the feminine stereotypes we can throw at them?). Due to the massive numbers, I’m going to just list the event, then the name, then the time.
Erin Murphy: 8.37
Lauren Jonen: 8.47
Megan McGreal: 5:25.02
Megan Mocogni: 5:29.13
Paige Oboikovitz: 5:43.73
Megan Mocogni: 10:48.18
Paige Oboikovitz: 11:14.18
Beth McGreal: 10:54.7
Abby Madden: 11:19.95
Emma Burkhardt: 11:57.18
Molly Wagener: 12:27.41
Caroline Skibinski: 12:49.38
Jenny Na: 4.16m
Now, for the boys! (Alright, guys the girls had 13 PR’s not including the records. Let’s see if we can beat them at this at least.)
Jayme Roberts: 7.22
Yemi Sonoiki: 7.35
Zach Boehmke: 4:39.43
Kevin Lapp: 4:44.23 (I’ve been waiting all season for Kevin to get a PR, so I could mention him. I mean, look at him! He’s a track athlete whose last name is Lapp! The man is a running pun. I think he’s my new favorite person. Sorry, Cyclops but you’ve been replaced.)
Kevin Hearne: 4:45.74
Ankit Aggarwal: 5:17.83 (PR’d by .01 seconds. Talk about cutting it close.)
Jack Morrissey: 9:31.92
Ryan Kelch: 9:33.55
Steve Krauklis: 9:34.68
David Choi: 9:45.46
Tyler Dixon: 9:58.05
Chris Kennedy: 10:35.76
Scott Luedkte: 09.44
Tyler Blum: 1.85m
Manny Del Rio: 12.10m
That puts the guys at 15 PR’s to the girls’ 13. Aww yeah! If we include the (non-baton passing) records, then we’re at 15 PR’s for the guys compared to… 17 PR’s for the girls. Nerts. Ah well, the takeaway is that we had 32 personal records on Saturday, and 10 club records. What a meet.
Finally, please welcome Hayley Dorfman, Mary Rosenwinkel, Leann Beckman, Sina Gartner, Anthony Morgan, and Jordan Hahn to the ITC team. May you have many fast races, very few slow races, and zero injuries.
Till Outdoor folks.
 I am awesome.
 Or he recognized that it wasn’t a joke. The man can be surprisingly perceptive sometimes.
 Kids these days just have no respect for their elders. Tsk tsk tsk.
 The fact that they actually ran the SMR before the 4×400 is beside the point. I’m going to modify history all I want to fit my narrative, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me!
 This is not a joke. Seriously. I know I have this tendency to make things up if I think it’d be funny, but this, to my everlasting trauma, is not a joke. Seriously. Their outfits haunt my nightmares. The only solace I take is that I didn’t get a good look at the kittens on Jack’s and Ryan’s shirts. The raw cuteness would probably have driven me completely insane.